Pot 'o Gold
by Zanza8
Summary: Festus is convinced there are leprechauns in Dodge City.
1. Chapter 1

Festus dashed into the Longbranch, skidding to a stop next to Doc and Kitty. The old man jumped and his beer went flying, covering him with suds. "What in thunder is wrong with you?" he shouted at the deputy.

"Doc, you'll never believe what just rode into town!"

"I can't believe what just came in here!" Doc fumed, wiping himself down. Festus pulled off his kerchief and tried to help, only to get his hand slapped.

"It's two little fellers drivin' two little horses pullin' a little wagon!"

Doc said sadly to Kitty, "I always knew this would happen someday. He never had much of a mind to begin with and now he's lost what little there was."

Festus glared. "You ornery old scutter, you just don't know nothin' 'bout nothin'. Miss Kitty, you'll listen to me. These little fellers, they're dressed all in green and they got long pipes and they talk kinda funny..."

"THEY talk funny?" asked Doc.

Festus ignored him. "Miss Kitty, I think they's leppercans!"

Kitty's mouth opened and closed. She turned to Doc, who started to laugh, then managed to ask, "Festus, are you trying to say leprechauns?"

"That's what I said...leppercans. My grandpa Hawg Haggen told me all 'bout 'em. He said they lived clear on t'other side of the Atlantis Ocean..."

"You mean the Atlantic Ocean," Doc said.

"And they has a magic rock called the Barney Stone..."

"That's BLARNEY Stone."

"And they always has a pot of gold hid somewheres. All you got to do is glom onto one of 'em and hold tight and he's got to give up his gold."

Kitty said firmly, "Festus, there's no such thing as a leprechaun."

"Wait 'til you see 'em, Miss Kitty! They's comin' here!"

"They are?"

"Well, they asked where's the best place in town to get a drink, so I just natur'ly told 'em the Longbranch." Festus went to the swinging doors and looked up the street, then hurried back. "They's fixin' to come in right now!"

Doc and Kitty exchanged a look, then sat back and waited. The doors swung in and the strangers arrived. They were about three feet tall, dressed in plain green trousers and jackets. One was very old, the other very young. Both had red hair and grey eyes and were smoking long clay pipes. Everybody in the room turned to look at them as they went to the bar.

Sam smiled. "What'll it be?"

The older one took his pipe out of his mouth. "Would you be having any poteen?"

Sam looked puzzled. "I'm afraid I don't know what that is."

"Ah, well, I'm not surprised. I suppose if we ever hope to taste it again we'll have to make it ourselves. Do you have any whiskey, then?"

"Whiskey we have."

"Then it's a bottle of your finest we'll be taking, along with three glasses."

"Three?"

"One for meself..." the man bowed, "...Brian Finnigan, one for himself..." he indicated the youngster, "...Jamie Finnigan, me grandson, and one for the lovely lady." He smiled broadly at Kitty.

She smiled back and got up. "Mr Finnigan, my name is Kitty Russell and I own this establishment."

Festus took her vacated chair and leaned over to Doc. "There, didn't I tell you? You can see for yoreself they ain't regilar folks," he whispered.

Doc looked exasperated. "The only irregular person in here is you. Now be quiet before you create even more of a disturbance than you already have."

The deputy sat back. "All right, Doc, but you'll see I'm right 'fore the end. It's plain as day to me. Them two fellers is leppercans."


	2. Chapter 2

Brian and Jamie Finnigan pulled up their wagon next to the blacksmith shop and called inside. Quint laid down his tools and walked over to them, wiping his hands. "What can I do for you gentlemen?"

Brian climbed down while Jamie held the reins. He offered Quint his hand. "Brian Finnigan's the name and this is me grandson Jamie." Jamie reached over to shake hands.

The blacksmith smiled. "Quint Asper."

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr Asper. Are you the blacksmith?"

"Yes, I am."

"Then it's you I'm having business with." He laid his hand on the near pony's neck. "Brigid here seems to be going lame."

"Brigid?"

"Brigid and Bronagh. They're a fine pair, aren't they?"

Quint looked at the ponies. "They are indeed." They were pure white, with thick silky manes and tails and soft brown eyes. He bent over and examined Brigid's foot. "Looks like a loose shoe...no, wait a minute..." He pulled out his knife and scraped the hoof. "She's picked up a stone."

"Ah, the poor lass," said Brian, patting the pony.

Quint dropped the stone and straightened up. "It's not too serious. She'll need a new shoe and a few days rest but that's all."

"That's a relief. Do you board horses here, Mr Asper?"

"That's right."

"We'll put them up with you then." Jamie got down and started to unhitch them as Festus came up.

"Lemme help you there," said the deputy. He took the reins and held the ponies while Jamie finished unbuckling the harness.

The young man smiled. "Thank you for your assistance, sir."

Festus stuck out his hand and they shook. "Name's Festus Haggen."

"Jamie Finnigan and this is me grandda, Brian."

The old man shook hands with the deputy and Festus asked, "Are you puttin' your ponies here, are you?"

Jamie nodded. "We are if this is a good place for them."

"Oh, this here's the best place in town! And you won't find no better blacksmith than my good friend Quint."

Brian's eyes twinkled. "Mr Haggen, you seem to be knowing all of the best places. The best place to drink, the best stable, the best blacksmith...tell me, sir, do you also know of the best hotel?"

The deputy pondered. "Well, the Dodge House is the onliest hotel, so I reckon it's got to be the best."

"And would you be good enough to point the way?"

"Oh, I can do better'n that. It'd be a pure pleasure to take you there."

"Then let us be on our way," said Brian. "Ah, Mr Asper, how much would you be charging for me ponies?"

"It's a dollar a day apiece, Mr Finnigan." The old man took out a leather pouch and handed Quint a silver coin. Quint weighed it in his palm and said, "I'm afraid I don't have change for this."

Brian waved his hand airily. "Don't give it a bit of thought. We'll reckon it all up when I come to collect me wagon. Now, Mr Haggen..."

Quint dropped the silver coin in his pocket and went back to his forge as Festus walked away with his new friends.


	3. Chapter 3

Festus and the Finnigans reached the Dodge House before the deputy gathered enough courage to ask a question. "Mr Finnigan?"

"Aye?"

"I'm just bustin' all over to ask you somethin' but I don't want to seem forward..."

Brian and Jamie exchanged a look and the old man grinned. "You want to know if we're leprechauns."

The deputy was flabbergasted. "That there is just what I wuz fixin' to ask!" He looked around and lowered his voice. "You is, ain't you?"

Brian shook his head. "No, Mr Haggen, we are not." Festus looked skeptical and the old man went on. "However, our appearance being what it is, we have grown accustomed to people taking us for what we are not."

Jamie spoke. "It is true that we know a couple of magic tricks."

The deputy's face lit up. "Why, I know some card tricks myself. Show me one of yourn."

Jamie took out a leather pouch like the one Brian paid Quint from and handed Festus a single gold coin. "Put that in your pocket." The deputy obeyed. "Now take it out." Festus reached in his pocket and frowned. He turned the pocket inside out and looked horrified as nothing but a rock turned up. Jamie laughed and held up his hand. He was holding the coin and a delighted grin spread across the deputy's face.

"That's a good'un, all right. Got any more like that?"

Brian clapped Festus on the shoulder. "We might have a thing or two more to show you, Mr Haggen. Now where is this fine hotel you've been telling us about?"

The deputy pointed. "Right there, Mr Finnigan. You go on in and tell Howie yore a friend of mine and he'll fix you up."

"Will we be seeing you at the Longbranch tonight?" asked Jamie.

Festus smiled. "You can see me most any night at Miss Kitty's."

Brian inclined his head. "Then that gives us something to be looking forward to. Come, Jamie." The Finnigans went into the Dodge House and Festus continued up the street. None of them noticed the two young men lounging across the street from the hotel.


	4. Chapter 4

Cyrus Jedmore was a disappointed man. He was old, he was tired, he had spent most of his life trying to scratch a meager living from a poor farm and he was sure his sons didn't have half a brain between them. Now as they poured out their story, he eyed them sourly and confirmed that opinion. "You two ain't got no more sense than a red ant in a hot skillet."

Halsey and Harden Jedmore looked at each other, then Halsey said excitedly, "I'm telling you, Pa, them little fellers what just come to Dodge has got gold! We was in the Longbranch and we heard Festus talking about it, and then when they left we followed them to Quint's and they paid him out of a sack of money. They even gave some gold to Festus."

Cyrus shook his head. "And if they do have gold, what good does that do us? I didn't raise you boys to be thieves. Your dear mother, God rest her soul, would turn in her grave if you was to go to stealing."

"But Pa, it ain't stealing, exactly," protested Harden.

"What is it exactly?" asked his father sternly.

"They's leppercans!"

"Watch your mouth, boy!"

"That ain't no bad word, Pa," said Harden. "They's little people and they got some kinda magic that keeps their gold hid and if you catch one he's got to give it up." Halsey nodded eagerly and Cyrus sighed and shook his head.

"I never heard such a pack of nonsense in all my born days. Now Harden, you go in the barn and hitch up the mule and start plowing, and Halsey, you get busy toting water to the garden. Them greens is wilting away." They just looked at him and he snapped at them. "Did you hear me? Git before I take a switch to both of you!"

They left despondently and went to the barn. Harden got the mule's harness, then threw it on the floor. "By gum, Halsey, them little fellers has got gold and we're gonna get it!"

"You heard Pa."

Harden looked towards the house. "I heard him. It's him I'm thinking of. If we could get that gold he'd never have to work another day in his life. So I'll tell you what we'll do. Soon as we get done here we're going back to Dodge."

Halsey frowned. "What for?"

"You heard them say they was going to the Longbranch, didn't you?" Halsey nodded. "And you heard what Festus said. All we got to do is catch one and hold on and he's got to give up his gold."

"I know, Harden, but..."

"Hush up. I know what I'm doing. We'll just go in the Longbranch and grab one of them little fellers."

"In front of everybody?" Halsey looked scared and his brother sighed with exasperation.

"Of course in front of everybody. That way we got the whole town as witnesses. They're magic folk, ain't they? So they ain't under the same law as the rest of us. We want to do everything out in the open and aboveboard."

Halsey looked relieved. "I didn't think of it that way, Harden. Oh, you are the smart one, aint'cha?"

Harden nodded and tapped his head. "'Fore this night's through I'll show Pa what I got up here. Now let's get our chores done."


	5. Chapter 5

Festus leaned against the front desk of the Dodge House and rang the bell, bringing the desk clerk from the back room. Seeing the deputy, Howie asked anxiously, "Is anything wrong, Festus?"

"No, I just dropped in to see if the Finnigans wuz fixin' to go to the Longbranch."

"Ah, Mr Haggen, it was kind of you to call!" Brian and Jamie were coming down the stairs. "We would be honored to be accompanied by you to that grand establishment, the Longbranch."

Festus beamed. "Mr Finnigan, I got to tell you I don't know what all you just said but it sounded fine as frog's hair. I know Miss Kitty and Doc'll be that pleased to see you again."

Kitty, Doc and Quint were at the same table when Festus came in with the Finnigans and they all smiled as the three joined them. Kitty asked, "Mr Finnigan, can I buy you and Jamie a drink?" Festus sat up straight and she added, "You too, Festus."

"My dear Miss Russell," said Brian, "I think your finest whiskey would be just the thing on a night like this."

Kitty called, "A bottle of the best, Sam." The bartender brought it and some glasses and poured for all of them, then started to leave. Brian stopped him.

"Have a drink yourself, sir."

Sam smiled. "Well, thank you, I will." They raised their glasses and it was shaping to be a pleasant evening until Harden and Halsey Jedmore came in. They looked around the room, spotted Brian and Jamie, and walked over with grim purpose to seize the old man by the arms.

Brian gave a squeak. "Unhand me, you young ruffians!"

"Not a chance," said Harden. "We got you and now you got to give us your gold!"

Festus jumped up. "Here, turn him loose, you dumbbells!" He took a swing at Harden, Halsey swung at the deputy, Quint swung at Halsey, and the most spectacular brawl ever to take place in the Longbranch erupted.

Matt had just ridden into town and gotten off his horse in front of the jail when he heard the commotion. Gun out, he ran to the Longbranch and stood dumbfounded in the doorway. Broken pieces of furniture littered the floor, the bar was badly splintered and the Jedmore brothers lay blissfully unconscious amid the wreck of the bannister. Men leaned against the walls shaking their heads and nursing bruises. The Finnigans stood side by side, lighting their pipes, their knuckles burst. Festus was sitting against the bar sucking a cut lip, shoulder to shoulder with Quint who nursed a bloody nose, while Kitty applied a wet towel to Doc's face. The marshal holstered his gun. "Kitty, what happened here?"

"It was the Jedmores."

"Harden and Halsey? Why?"

"I'll tell you why," said Doc, looking pointedly at Festus. "It was all his fault."

"It warn't neither!" protested the deputy, scrambling to his feet.

Matt took a deep breath. "Somebody tell me what's going on."

Doc opened his mouth but Brian forestalled him. "Allow me, Doctor." Jamie took his arm and they went to Matt and shook hands. "I am Brian Finnigan and this is me grandson Jamie."

"Pleased to meet you, Mr Finnigan, but..."

"I take it, sir, by that bright badge you wear, that you are the law in this fair city. The unfortunate lads peacefully slumbering over there had the mistaken notion that Jamie and I had gold they might take. Thanks to Mr Haggen and his friends, they were soon convinced of their error."

"Thanks to Mr Haggen!" Doc snorted, throwing down the towel he'd been holding to his face and revealing a black eye. "If it wasn't for Mr Haggen saying you were leprechauns none of this would have happened!"

Matt frowned and shook his head. "Leprechauns?"

Brian smiled. "A misconception we are well used to. Don't blame Mr Haggen, Doctor Adams. Something like this has happened in almost every town we stop in." Festus was looking crestfallen but he brightened as Brian continued. "However, this is the first town where somebody defended us and we are indeed grateful to Mr Haggen and to all of you." He bowed to the room and added, "Besides, a good fight never hurt anyone, and this one was truly glorious."

"Spoken like a true Haggen," said Festus, looking smugly at Doc.

The old man threw his hands in the air. "I'm going up to my office and put something on my eye."

Matt asked, "Doc, how did you get hurt? You weren't fighting, were you?"

The old man scowled. "No, when it started I dove under the table and landed on my face. Now you'll have to excuse me, because I think I've had all the fun I can stand for one night. Festus, you'd better come with me and let me look at that lip."

"Golly bill, Doc, it's just a little cut."

"Will you not argue with me for once in your life!"


	6. Chapter 6

Matt was awakened very early the next morning by a pounding on his door. He pulled on his boots, then opened up to find Cyrus Jedmore. "Oh, hello, Cyrus. I was just going to come out to see you."

Cyrus looked mournful. "I was afraid of that, marshal. My boys come to Dodge last night and when they didn't get back I figgered they was into some kind of trouble."

"Well, it's not too bad," said Matt reassuringly. "They started a fight in the Longbranch and I had to lock them up. There'll be some damages to be paid, but nobody was seriously hurt. I'll tell you, though, they had the craziest story I've ever heard."

"Something about gold and little people?"

Matt nodded and got the keys. "I'll let them tell you. Maybe you can make some sense out of it."

Cyrus shook his head. "I doubt that, marshal." Matt brought the two young men out, bruised and disheveled but not too much the worse for wear. They stood fidgeting as their father looked them over, stretching out the silence. Finally he spoke. "Well?"

Harden said meekly, "We just wanted to catch a leppercan, Pa."

Halsey chipped in, "We figgered it wasn't stealing if we took from magic folks."

Cyrus looked vastly exasperated. "You two would pull a fool stunt like this just when we finally have some good luck!"

"What do you mean, Pa?"

"Harden, did you finish the plowing yesterday like I told you to?"

Harden shuffled his feet. "All but the north corner where that big rock is."

"Well, I managed to shift that big rock," said Cyrus. He broke into a smile. "There's a spring under it, boys! We've got plenty of water on the place at last!"

Harden and Halsey looked at each other, then jumped for their father. He pushed them off. "We can finally make that place pay, and the first thing we'll have to pay for is the damage you did to Miss Kitty's." They hung their heads and he held onto his stern look for another moment, then broke down and pulled his sons into a hug. "Don't fret about it, boys. Somehow we'll manage. We always do." He turned to Matt. "Marshal, if I could take these two home I sure would appreciate it. You just let me know what we owe Miss Kitty and we'll pay it."

Matt smiled and nodded. "Sure, Cyrus. Go ahead." The Jedmores left and the marshal sighed and sat down. There was a jingle of spurs outside the door and Festus came in.

"Matthew, the Finnigans is fixin' to leave. You want to come see 'em off?"

"Sure, Festus." Matt strapped on his gun belt and they went out to the waiting wagon. Jamie checked the harness with Quint while Doc and Kitty talked to Brian.

"I understand you're pulling out," said the marshal.

Brian nodded. "We only intended to stop until Brigid was feeling better."

The marshal looked around. "Brigid?"

Quint indicated the near pony. "Brigid."

"I see," said Matt, grinning. "Just what was wrong with Brigid?"

Quint shrugged. "She had a stone-bruised hoof." He looked at Matt with a poker face. "Yesterday morning. She seems to be all better now, though." Matt looked surprised and bent to look at the pony's foot.

Brian lit his long clay pipe. "Aye, well, it's wonderful what a good night's rest will do."

Quint looked puzzled. "I suppose so. Mr Finnigan, I still can't give you change for that coin. I'd better give it back to you." He felt in his pocket. "I can't seem to find it...must have left it in the shop. Just a minute."

Brian shook his head. "Never mind, Mr Asper. No doubt it will turn up in due time and I'll be glad to have a little credit if we come back this way." He climbed into the wagon with Jamie and they shook hands all round. The last one to come up to them was Festus and they smiled warmly at him. "Mr Haggen," said the old man, "it's a shame we don't have a wee bit 'o magic to give you three wishes."

Festus smiled. "I wouldn' know what to do with three, Mr Finnigan. Fact is, I can only think of one."

Brian and Jamie exchanged a look. "What would that be, Mr Haggen?" asked Jamie.

"Well, just that all my friends'd keep up their health and their spirits. More'n that a man cain't ask."

Brian leaned over and put his hand on Festus' shoulder, his keen gray eyes looking deeply into the gentle hazel ones of the deputy. "Of all the wishes I've ever heard, that's the only one I'd be wanting to grant." He gripped the deputy's shoulder, then straightened up. "Farewell, my friends!"

They waved until the wagon was out of sight, then Matt asked Kitty, "Did you figure out what the Jedmores owe you?" She looked at him with a strange expression and he frowned. "Kitty?"

"Come on over to the Longbranch, Matt. Doc, I want you and Festus and Quint to come too."

"What's this about?" asked the marshal.

Kitty shook her head. "I can't explain it. I have to show you."


	7. Chapter 7

Kitty unlocked the doors. "This is how I found the place when I came down this morning." She stepped aside to let the men go first. They started in, then froze.

The Longbranch was shining with new wood and fresh polish. Brand new tables and chairs were scattered about the room, expert carpentry showed on the bannister and bar, a crystal chandelier graced the ceiling, and on their favorite back table were five glasses and a bottle of Irish whiskey. They all looked at each other and slowly advanced.

Matt was the first to speak. "Looks like somebody did a little work in here."

Kitty nodded. "Without making a sound."

Doc agreed. "Well, sure, they just brought in all these tables and chairs..." He looked at Kitty. "Did you say without making a sound?"

"That's right, Doc. I never heard a thing."

They sat at the table and Kitty filled the glasses. They drank for a moment in silence, then Matt started them off again. "I suppose they replaced the bannister and repaired the bar too."

Quint ran his hand over the table. "And cleaned and polished everything."

Kitty looked at the chandelier. "Put that up too. Probably had it laying around with the tables and chairs."

"And all since last night," said Doc.

Festus finally spoke. "Well, when you put it like that it don't sound very likely, but you got to remember leppercans does things like this all the time."

"Festus..." said Doc.

The deputy looked at him. "What?"

The old man shook his head. "Never mind," he said gruffly. They all looked around the room again, then Kitty topped up their drinks and raised her glass.

"To the Finnigans." And as they drank the toast, it seemed for a moment as if a rainbow danced around the room, but of course that was only an illusion.


End file.
